The expert call it the most important word as far as results we get from life of the concerned. That word is ATTITUDE. It is our attitude towards life which will determine life’s attitude towards us. Let’s face the facts honestly, we shape our own lives and the shapes of them will be determined by our attitudes. Take for an example, a person with a poor attitude towards learning is not going to learn much until they change their attitude. If we take the attitude of we cannot do something, we generally will not do it. An attitude of failure will result in poor ahievement before you even start. So we know then that what we receive in life, what we accomplish or fail to accomplish is done in large measure to our overall attitude. William James of Havard University put it this way: the greatest discovery of his generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitude of mind. Is it not wonderful that we have this measure of control?
Let’s talk about our attitude towards ourselves
Since it’s the attitude we take towards ourselves that determines our attitude toward the world. We are so familiar with ourselves we tend to take ourselves for granted; we tend to minimise the things we can accomplish, reach and for some strange reason we believe others can accomplish them. There are literally millions of human beings living narrow, dark and frustrated lives. They live defensively simply because they take defensive doubtful attitude towards themselves and as a result towards life in general. Many people are suspicious of and oppose change yet change is the one thing in life on which we can absolutely count. People who stay young at heart all the years of their lives not only welcome change but see it for what it really is; new opportunity and changes for further fulfillment. Attitude is a reflection, a result of a person’s will. It is incalculably powerful, it can bring about marvelous results for us but we need to train it patiently day by day.
Now let’s talk about the attitude of successful people
The top 5% of the people who go sailing through life from one success to another and who even when they fail at something they shrug it off and head right out again. No matter who the person is or what he does, men and women in sales, business executives, people in all the professions, wives and mothers, students, public servants, men and women in the service of religion, working men and women in all fields of endevour. Whatever you find the person doing an outstanding job and getting outstanding results you will find the person with the right kind of attitude. These people take the attitude towards themselves that they can achieve what they set out to accomplish that there is no good reason on earth why they can’t be confident and successful. They have the right attitude towards themselves and towards the things they want to accomplish and because of this, they achieve remarkable things and they come to be called successful, outstanding, brilliant, lucky and other things. Successful people come in all shapes and sizes and widely varying in level of degrees in intelligence, background and so on, but they all have one thing in common, they expect more good out of life than bad, they expect to succeed more than they fail. When you want something worthwhile, take the attitude that there are lot more reasons why you can have it than there are reasons you cannot and set out to earn it, go after it, ask for it and 9 out of 10 you will get it.
How to change our attitude
Our environment is the mirror of our mental attitude. If we don’t like30 ATTITUDE our environment we have to change our attitude first. Life plays no favorites, it is impersonal, it does not care whether we change or not. Adapting a good healthy attitude towards life doesn’t affect the world and the people in it nearly as much as it affects us. It will be even impossible to estimate the number of jobs which have been lost, promotions missed, sales not made, marriages ruined by poor attitudes; but you can number in millions the number of jobs held but hated, marriages which are tolerated but unhappy all because of people who are waiting for the world and others to change towards them instead of being big enough and wise enough to at least make the change themselves. You can easily spot successful people by the way they walk, talk, look and act. You can feel about them when they enter the room. They have attitude of success. The easest way to form an atttitude of success is to act as though you are already successful. Begin now, walk, act and look as though you belong to this group. Actions trigger feelings just as feelings trigger actions. You must first become mentally from the attitude stand point that which you wish to achieve.
- Act towards the world, everything and everyone you come in contact with the attitude which represents the kind of results you want to achieve. That is, if the results you want is more success in what you are doing, act as if you are already in possession of the success you are seeking.
- If you want others to treat you with admiration and respect, treat others with admiration and respect first. Have you ever thought that every human being on earth is the most important human being on earth as far as they are concerned? You may never get everyone to admit it but it’s a fact. So for the next 30 days, treat every person with whom you come in contact as the most important person on earth. Remembering in doing so as far as that person is concerned he is. The reason I say treat everyone in this manner is mainly because it’s the way human beings are to treat each other and because it will help you form a habit that will bring you amazing and delighful results for the rest of your life.
- In the next 30 days, treat everyone you come in contact in the way you want to be treated. Treat your spouse as the person they are, the most important person in your life. The same with the children.
- Carry out in the world each morning for 30 days the kind of attitude you would have if you were the most successful human being on earth and quickly notice how it develops into a habitual routine.
- It is our attitude at the beginning of a task which more than anything else will determine it’s successful outcome.
- It is our attitude towards life which determines life’s attitude towards us.
- We are inter-dependent. It is impossible to succeed without others and it is our attitude towards others which will determine their attitude towards us.
- Before a person can achieve a kind of life he wants, he must become that kind of individual, he must think, act, talk, walk and conduct himself and all his affairs as would the person he wishes to become.
- The higher you go in any organisation of value, the better will be the atttude you will find.
- Your mind can only hold one thought at a time so it might as well be a positive one as you stand to gain nothing from a negative one.
- The deepest craving of any human being is to be needed, is to feel important and be appreciated. Give it to them and they will return it to you.
- Look for the best in new ideas as someone said; I’ve never met a person I could not learn something from.
- Don’t waste valuable time broadcasting personal problems. It probably won’t help you so it cannot help others.
- Don’t talk about your health unless it’s good.
- Radiate the attitude of well being of confidence of a person who knows where he is going. This will inspire those around you and you will find good things starting to happen to you.
- Treat everyone with whom you come in contact with as the most important person on earth.
- Believe in yourself (Even when you are the only one believing)
2. Amaze people around you
3. Take full responsibility for your life
4. Stand up to yourself (Shut those negative thoughts off)
5. Go all out to have it (It is not easy, but it is worth it)
6. Stay busy
7. Be grateful
8. Don’t make someone’s opinion of you become your reality
9. You’re Unique
10. Don’t stop running towards your dream
In life, one will face challenges from different angles. This can be from our uncle Murphy’s law or people that we encounter with on daily basis. Below principles can help deal with these life challenges:
- Love is kind and free
- Give with your heart without expecting anything in return
- Praying for everything, I mean literally for everything. Anything good that happens to you, you must pray to God and thank Him. Everything bad that happens to you, you must pray to God and thank him for getting you through it (as long as you are alive, it means you are through it).
- Greetings are not eatable so greet even if someone won’t greet you back. Do your part. Always keep your slate clean
- Do not carry other people’s burdens with you. Once you have given someone advice and helped the person the best you know how, the honours are on the person to take the advice and the help or not
- Be kind and grateful at all time
- Smile because you look beautiful when you smile than when you are sad. Try it on the mirror, you will laugh after trying. Every time you look sad, think about the feeling you had when you looked yourself in the mirror when you were sad, you will laugh again. Now what do they say about laughter? Yes, you said it…it’s the best medicine.
- Should you feel the need to cry because something upset you, lock yourself in a room and cry until you ask yourself why were you crying again? There we go, you managed to find the solution by yourself.
- Love and respect yourself before loving and respecting someone. You can’t expect to be loved and respected if you do not project that yourself. Expect what you inspect.
- Believe in yourself no matter what. You must always be your own cheerleader.
- Do not let anyone mess your day, especially in the morning. Affirm daily that this is the day the Lord has made and you will rejoice in it.
Go on and try them for few days and see how positively your life changes. You got nothing to loose but more to gain.
What is Positive Mental Attitude?
Positive mental attitude (PMA) means having an optimisic nature in every situation in your life to attracts positive changes and achieve success. It’s a state of mind that continues to seek, find and execute ways to win, or find a desirable outcome, regardless of the circumstances. It opposes negativity, defeatism and hopelessness. Active faith and hope are vital to the development of Positive Mental Attitude.
What I have discovered is that when you are calm and at peace, you are more immune to the negative world and more receptive of positive world. You will find yourself possesing active faith, optimisim, hope, and positive attitude to name just a few. It is pointless to have faith and hope if they are not active. You must be receptive at all times, believing that what you want to achieve will materialise. This is by means of curbing any negative thoughts that might come knocking at your head. Tell them to SHUT UP and FOCUS on being positive and knowing that what you want to achieve will happen because you are also putting in the hard work. Active faith means, sowing that seed, watering and nurturing it to grow. That is what must happen with our dreams and aspirations. We must keep at them until they become real, and that does not come easy. This is by means of PERSSISTENCE, PERSEVERANCE and POSITIVE ATTITUDE! This is when you believe and not give up when things get hard. This is by finding a way and ensuring that you achieve your goals, dreams NO MATTER WHAT.
Life is what you make of it and when you possess Positive Mental Attitude, you will be able to conquer whatever life throws at you. You will be brave enough to look at life and say; is that all you have?
The truth is saying you want your dream bad or talking about it will not get you results, but showing you want it bad and doing it will. Life is all about choices. You can either be a spectator or you can be a participant. Spectators like to talk and participants are all about action. Remember, everyone can talk a good game but what separates them from successful people is the ACTION!
Successful people are:
- Champions of life
- Take massive action
- They don’t hesitate
- They don’t procastinate
- They do not fear failure, but fear being average
What I want to remind you is that dreams can come true, however they need ACTION. There’s a difference between a dream and a fairytale. There’s also a difference in a dream and a good idea. The dream will keep coming back whether you like it or not. It doesn’t matter how many years, months or days it takes, but I guarantee you that it will keep coming back. Whatever dream you’ve got, you got to have ACTION and if not, it will always stay a fairytale. In fact it will haunt you, harass you until you give in and say: IT IS NOW TIME FOR ME TO LAUNCH. It’s time for me to jump and go for it. You have to take the first step. It is said…the hardest thing is getting started.
When you are young you have the following characteristics or attitude:
- Go getter
- Don’t give up mentality
- It’s possible
When you get older you start developing the following characteristics or attitude:
- Stop dreaming
- Non resilient
- Giving up mentality
- It’s impossible
- Blaming game
What happened? Why do we change as we grow up?
The answer according to my opinion is that when we are young we use our subconscious mind more than our conscious mind. I have a belief that when we are born, the Creator of the Universe gives each and every one of us a key to open a door that will lead to our success in life. The choice is yours if you are going to use that key to open the door to your ultimate success. Someone might argue the point that how we would know which door to open. To know which door to open is called the challenges in life you face. When you put the key on one door to try to open it and it refuses, that means that key is not for that door. Move on and try another door. Why waste your time and energy trying to open the door with the wrong key. Maybe you are meant to try 100 doors before your 101 door open to get your life success. Some people will try 2 doors and on the 3rd door the key opens.
We are all different in life. You are unique in your own way. What someone did to get their door of success opened is not going to be the same from you. You can learn from them and make it easier for yourself but do not get jealous of them. Work on you and figure your door to success your way. The reason why you must work on your door to success yourself is so that you can take lessons from what went wrong and also from what worked so that you can help someone who might need your guidance.
Going back to my point of younger you and older you. The younger you is hungry for life and success than the older you. When you start operating from your conscious mind, you easily get swayed away by fear, people’s opinions, rejection, negativity. Remember the tale of Adam and Eve? They were living life from the subconscious mind until the serpent (curiosity) tricked them into living from the conscious mind. Life was perfect as they had everything. When I say everything I mean, positive mind-set, love, kindness, abundance in health and food, accepted each other for who they were, fearless (lived with animals), authority (powers to name the animals) etc. I could list all but I guess by now you get the idea of what kind of life they lived. When the serpent (curiosity) got the better of them they started operating from the conscious level and they started getting aware of how the world operated e.g. fear, rejection, flaws, negativity etc.
Operating from the conscious mind is not necessarily bad but because we are humans and are flawed, your awareness of others influences you. When you grow up, your alertness to wrong things starts to grow because of your surroundings. When your loved one speaks negatively to you, how are you supposed to respond/react? When the media only portrays negative things about celebrities, government and the world, how are you supposed to respond/react? When you are a big dreamer and the teacher asks you in front of the class what are your dreams and you share and the teacher laughs at your dream. How are you supposed to respond/react to that? The questions I am asking after the statement shows that mostly we are not trained to deal with the conscious mind and this is likely to influence your subconscious mind. For example, when you keep being called stupid by your friends all the time and you start believing what your friends/family members call you, your subconscious mind will eventually start believing that you are stupid.
That is why it is so important to continue to build the young people and also to rebuild the inner kids in ourselves in order to get hungry for success again. It is possible to start afresh, redream, set new goals and work at achieving them. Be careful of what you call yourself and what you call your children. When you believe that you are a winner, then you become a winner. When you believe that you are a loser, guess what, you will become a loser.
One trait I love that children have is being persistent and resilient. When a child learns to walk it falls more than one but it does not give up until they learn how to walk. It is the same as when they want something and you say no as a parent/elder. They learn how to get it from you in different ways. They use crying or nagging tactics to get what they want. Most of the time they get away with it. So why is it hard for us when we grow older to continue with being resilient and persistent? The answer is simple, we think we are wiser and cooler by giving up or letting people define us. We let go of what we are born with, whilst trying to adopt what the ‘world’ says we must be.
Ignorance is lack of knowledge or information. Majority of schools in South Africa covers basic life skills which teaches children about sexual diseases, teenage/unplanned pregnancies, substance abuse, self love and self confidence etc. Even after these teachings our youth is still prey to these challenges. Why?
In my opinion, some of these aspects are still not being addressed at home (charity begins at home). Some youth still faces parents mocking them, calling them negative names especially when they have made mistakes. It takes a strong character from a child to not make their parents opinion of them a reality. Parents are supposed to love, nurture, mentor, build, supports their young ones. When this does not happen, young ones tends to believe what the outside world tells them. When fathers are absent from their girls, most of the time, they look for affection from older guys (which we call sugar daddy’s) and mostly boys ends up in jail or having no dreams and goals.
Another aspect is youth that have ‘I DO NOT CARE’ attitude. The attitude of ‘WE ARE ALL GONNA DIE’ one day or ‘I ONLY LIVE ONCE’. What they do not realise is, they are living orphans behind which increases some of the challenges our country faces which is lack of nurturing, love, care, education, food, shelter, clothing to name just a few. Therefore the circle does not break but keeps going on from one point to the other.
What I have come to realise is ignorance is expensive because when you get infected by the disease, you do not die at once, you get to suffer and I have seen this from my relatives and some patients from hospitals. I mean this goes from not being able to take yourself to the toilet, now do the maths. Will it be worth it when you are at that stage? Will it take that stage to tell your close ones that HIV/AIDS is real? If you are big enough to have sex, then be big enough to use protection, go to the clinic and take the free condoms if you may. It does not matter if people are watching you, will they be there to take care of you when you get the disease without protection? Will they give you money to take care of your child when you fall pregnant? Be wise and love yourselves enough to take care of yourselves.
Learn to affirm the following even when your close ones do not:
I am beautiful, I am clever, I am a Masterpiece, I am loved, I am important, I can achieve my dreams etc.
Have a great week and keep having a positive mindset.
Have you seen in life how easy and convenient it is to blame everything and everybody for the things we had or have going on in our lives? There is such a thing as being a positive and optimistic person with the best intentions for everybody and things just get rough and you can’t get a break.
However, most people are waking up everyday looking for pain, dysfunction, drama, unemployment, being broke, struggling and dropping every excuse in the book about their childhood and problem of dysfunction they grew up in that is stopping them from being successful.
My question is when people don’t like who they hang around with, why are they still around them? They don’t trust their managers so why are they still there? They expect their life and career to be different however, they are still messing with the same things, people and situations. That’s all I am saying. They need to stop being lazy, mediocre, complainers that are full of excuses, sitting around on the pity party coming with whatever excuse they can find why they aren’t winning. They are the reason they are not winning. You can’t keep a company of negative, dysfunctional people and expect positive outcome.
It’s the same as a person who is out of shape but complains of being out of shape yet they never go to the gym. Someone who is unhappy that their stomach is big and not being happy about how they look when they are eating everything and never go to the gym. They are the reason they look the way they look.
It starts with you. Empower yourself by taking responsibility for your life.